We can’t pretend otherwise, we’re really rather childish at the Men Are Useless HQ. We try and be impressive, serious and ponderous but we’re suckers for simple gags. Very simple gags.
That’s why we’ve gone hell for leather and stocked the whole range of hair products that go under the name Cock Grease. See, did you raise a smile when you read it? Bet you did.
They’re quite a rockerbilly product and mostly hair pomades (although the xxx is water based) and get their name from the comb on a cockerel. Who can say they’ve never thought a cockerel had a quiff? So that’s why they’re called Cock Grease – you didn’t think there was any other reason did you?
Keep your eyes peeled for a cock grease pomade, flick comb and t-shirt combo box too!
Here are the four products in full:
Cock Grease for the weekend sir?
Cock Grease No X (£7.50)
This Extra Slick pomade is great for soft hair styles, slicking hair, business look, or the wet look.
Use it for parting, lifting and styling.
Shall I finish it off with some cock grease sir?
Cock Grease X Pomade (£7.50)
“X” Pomade is a medium to strong hold pomade, offers long lasting and versatile hair dressing that allows you to mold, sculpt and create texture. A firm yet pliable hold that keeps it up all day.
Medium to Strong Hold
You appear to be running low on cock grease sir
Cock Grease XX Hair Pomade (£7.50)
“XX” Extra stiff pomade. This pomade is just what it says – Extra Stiff.
This is serious stuff! It doesn’t get any harder than this.
You'll need XXX cock grease to keep it stiff sir
Cock Grease XXX Water Based Hair Pomade (£11.50)
Finally, a water-based pomade with a firm hold that can be re-combed!
This is NOT a gel pomade.
For the stiffest hold apply to dry hair
Totally and utterly childish – but cracking products!
) but we’d like to highlight (and, as we’re writing this we can highlight whatever we like can’t we!) some of the other boxes she liked the look of:
